Settling in.

The more I get used to this whole high school thing the more sense stuff seems to make. The culture I grew up with is all coming back to me the way to eat, talk, walk, and act. The wat no one ever comes in with dire problems that they need their friends help with, and the way everyone pretends to be happy. It's kinda funny actually. The more time I spend at this school with these people the more I realize how wrong this school is for me. The only place where I can be myself is band. And the badn is awesome. Franklin is probably the only school with a band and no band nerds instead a rag tag bunch of people who have the ability to blow into a hunk of metal and make noise, but it's a fun group.
Anyways I have decided that there is one very large difference between Franklin and Washington (my middle school), at Washington my friends noticed right away when just a little something was off, for instance blindly stummbling down the hallway and being generaly pissed off was a dead give away. But at Franklin no one notices, not until you can't muster up fake enthusiasm and you finally just snap at someone and everyone freaks out. Maybe it's just me. Maybe things would just be easier if I just molded to them, if i just put on a smile everyday and pretended to be nice and happy even if inside I feel like crap and just need someone to tell me everything is gonna be alright. Is it selfish to want friends that care? Is it selfish to question the entire established way of life just because I don't like it? They all seem happy enough, but i suppose you never can tell because everyone is just expected to be happy.
So now it's winter break, thank god! But of course now it's this ackward time because I don't celebrate chirstmas, i'm Jewish. My family celebrates the winter solstice instead,  but it's still ackward. No one at franklin really gets that either. I think it comes back to the whole being different idea. No one at Franklin is profoundly different. I mean it's not like they're all clones or something, but they're all so similar that it's driving me a little insane.
In conclusion i have concluded that Franklin just isn't the school for me. To normal, to fake, I can't do it, I can't take it. I intend to transver for the rest of my high school career beyond freshmen year. I'll go to Garfield with most of my friends or to Ingraham with some people I know and my boyfriend. BUt importantly I will not go to Franklin, even if it means leaving the band and my 'friends' behind.